The blog has recently been somewhere near the bottom of my priorities lately, as you've probably noticed. A lack of motivation on my part, to be sure, coupled with the fact that I don't feel like I have a ton of new stuff to report. But, for the sake of keeping a good thing going, here's what I've been up to...
1. Work stuff:
The newest group of Volunteers is swearing-in in a couple of weeks, so I've been putting the finishing touches on the sites that are in my region. Not very exciting news on the face of it, but what's amazing to me is that this is a group that I wasn't even ever supposed to meet, had I left after my original time was up. They arrived in early March, nearly four months after I was supposed to leave. Looking back on my blog entries from that equivalent time for me (Fall 2007), it's amazing to see how much has changed.
What's most interesting to me, though, is how all the things that have "changed" have just brought me back to a state of unquiet equilibrium. An oxymoron, perhaps, but the "balance" that I've been feeling in my life these days is bordering on a sort of blase boredom, more than anything. Things don't surprise me too much these days, and I don't really like that feeling. My mood (although perennially a little lower this time of the year, for whatever reason) has kind of stagnated to a mid to low level range. Not to say I don't have the best time EVER when I'm surfing, for example, but I'm not really cut out to be a beach bum for more than a couple days at a time.
Wow, this "work" section sure digressed quickly, eh? Probably a testament to how much work I feel like I'm really doing, which is certainly a contributing factor to how I'm feeling. Although, to be honest, even if I were wildly busy I probably wouldn't that enthused. It's time for something new.
So, I've been thinking about the future, which has involved...
2) Studying for the GRE:
Not exactly the best way to take the edge off, but I've been getting smarter - dusting off the math part of the brain and learning a lot of new words. Going back to school has always been in the back of my mind, and I've had a good amount of free time these days to devote to some studying.
Part of the motivation to return to school is that some of my present-day heroes were and are scholarly types (Howard Zinn, Noam Chomsky). There's always a little voice in the back of my mind that tells me that going back to school is just going to further cause me to entrench myself in the suffocating world of debt, but I've been doing alright so far. Plus, I figure if I score high enough on the GRE that maybe some schools will be falling over themselves to let me go there for free (not that the GRE is the only thing, of course, but it can't hurt).
Anyway, knowledge if power, right?
Until that time, though, I've been...
3. Figuring out to do with the next couple of years of my life.
Sometimes I feel like there are no good options. I hate that feeling, and it makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I've got a few different lines out, so to speak, but it's been hard to get any positive responses. I realize that I'm far from alone in that boat, but it's still very frustrating.
But, I have some ideas. I'm going to avoid jinxing myself by listing any of them here, but good ol' Hola Hispaniola will be the first to know if anything comes up.
In the mean time, my GRE is next Friday (wish me luck!), and there's a Medical Mission the following week. One small step closer to figuring out the old future + instant gratification of helping sick people = at least a few days of equanimity.
Happy Spring to those back home! As always, thanks for checking in.
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